Quick – what one holiday tradition from your childhood did you love best? Opening gifts? Family game time? Snitching the cookies while they were still warm?
For me, it was the advent candles Mom let my brothers and me burn during the 12 nights before Christmas. She read an article in Good Housekeeping magazine with ideas to keep children’s anticipation and curiosity about all those presents under the tree focused and in control, and one of the suggestions was the advent candle. Mom would cut 11 notches into three identical taper candles and my two brothers and I would burn one notch each night, burning the candle to the very end on Christmas Eve. Somewhere between bath time and bedtime, we’d gather at the coffee table in the living room, Christmas music playing, a tray of Mom’s cookies and candies in front of us, and watch the flame on our candles dance, melting the red wax into star-shaped pools in the bottom of three glass candle holders.
OK, I know this sounds kind of boring – what makes it my favorite memory was the camaraderie between my brothers and me, and the stories we told each other about what we thought was in those boxes under the tree. We reminded each other of the naughty and nice things we’d done that year and tried to rationalize away the ones that might inspire coal in our stockings. We’d make rash promises about being better next year, meaning the vows as we said them and probably not living up to them very well.
Little did Mom know she was on to a scientific breakthrough decades before the scientists figured it out. A study using functional magnetic resonance imaging, published in Frontiers in Psychology in January of 2018, clearly shows that focusing on a future, good-feeling event boosts mental wellbeing and mood. So, if your favorite holiday tradition had anticipation at its core too, then maybe your mom and mine were sharing secrets! I share not-so-secret advice every day in the world’s second-shortest podcast, and here are three episodes about anticipation:
Need help trusting and anticipating your good ideas? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Need help understanding and feeling your feelings? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Want to know what John Steinbeck has to say about anticipation? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
As adults, the holiday season can and often does inspire more stress than anticipation, because our schedules have to somehow include holiday prep, holiday parties, and loads of extra to-do’s. If you need an excuse to de-stress each day, meditation is a great tool to use. And if you want to put on your holiday jammies, sit on the floor in the living room, and watch a candle burn an inch a night while you eat holiday goodies, science and my mom support you.
Happy holidays!
PS...know someone planning a meeting, retreat, or conference? Please share this post with them. Thanks!
