Do you have friends? Then today is your day! Today is the International Day of Friendship and this issue of the weekly newsletter explores the mysteries of our friendships.
There are two sides to friendship – the positives and the not-so-positives. Because every single person is human, we bring both sides of ourselves to all our friendships, and so do our friends. That means that each friendship has the potential to be a rollercoaster, with the size of the hills and valleys in the hands of both people. That’s what makes friendships so complicated!
Humans are hard-wired to form communities, and friends are the non-family community we create. Like family, friends can provide emotional support, validation, companionship, and strong pathways to happiness through shared experiences. Friends are often our sounding boards, exercise partners, and mastermind partners, helping each other create strength, growth, and resilience. Friends give us a sense of belonging, feedback and advice, and the outlet we need to create work/life balance.
With all the benefits of friendship, what could possibly be the cause for complications? Disagreements can cause stress, drama, and feelings of betrayal. Jealousy. Over-dependency. Lack of support. Lack of boundaries. Unreciprocated support. Time, emotion, energy, and/or financial strain. I could go on, and I know you may have experienced all this and more in your own friendships.
Unless you’re dealing with a truly emotionally constipated person, the negatives of a friendship can create opportunities for growth in your own emotional maturity. Looking at that list of potential complications, it looks like the other person is the one who needs to grow and change, right? (Psssst – sometimes it’s your actions that can be perceived as not-optimal…oops!) What if I told you that even when the other person is behaving not-optimally, you can be OK with it, as long as the friendship is otherwise beneficial for you?
Tough times create growth opportunities for both friends: you can view the not-optimal behavior as something the person can’t help or doesn’t know they’re doing, and you can learn to lovingly and calmly help them understand that the behavior hurts. When it goes just right, you both grow. When it goes wrong, you both have choices. For some help with understanding the in’s and out’s of friendship building, soothing, and even ending, here are three episodes of the world’s second-shortest podcast. Got 4.5 minutes? You can listen to all three!
Want to understand the power of creating friendships? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Does a friend you love occasionally hurt you? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Need help deciding if a friendship is worth it, and what to do if not? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Every single human being is a blend of good intentions, blind spots, and love. When you can remember that – and especially when you can remember that about yourself – you can create friendships like you whip up your favorite recipe. Go heavy on the good intentions and love, and understand that the blind spots will crop up to cause problems now and then. When you can do that, your friendships will be more like a boardwalk and less like a rollercoaster.
Wags,
Sandy Weaver
The Voice of Wagaliciousness
PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #podcast #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing
