Did you feel like I felt Saturday night – horrified, confused, uncertain, and helpless? No matter what your politics are, you have a heart that beats in your chest, you have family members you love and would do anything to keep safe, and if circumstances had been different, those killed and injured could have been your loved ones.
For all of us who feel unsteady in the wake of the violence, this issue of the newsletter has tools you can use to create a calmer inner atmosphere for yourself.
Arguably the worst part about being a bystander to a tragedy is the feeling of helplessness. In the absence of anything concrete to do, people tune in to news outlets and take to social media, airing their feelings, their theories, and finding supporters and detractors. We want to do something, yet everything feels random and uncontrollable.
Brains are interesting things – part of how we learn so rapidly as children is that the brain recognizes and stores patterns. As we have more experiences, the brain assigns meaning to the new information based on the patterns of beliefs that we’ve already formed. Because they have so many things to keep track of, brains sift the incoming information based on what each person already believes to be true.
That’s why those who believe in conspiracy theories see evidence that supports those beliefs, no matter which political party they support. It’s also why inflammatory statements from the side you support feel true and justified, while those from the other side feel like real and frightening threats. And that’s why the more news coverage you watch or listen to, the worse you’ll feel.
I worked in major market radio for most of my adult life and I’m going to make a recommendation to you that hurts my heart. Turn off the incessant drumbeat of “news” because it’s designed to generate ratings and revenue, not deliver truth and understanding. The 24-hour news coverage has some actual journalistic news in it, and the rest of what is delivered as news is really punditry. It might or might not be objectively true, yet it’s delivered with the authority and stamp of approval of the news outlet you’re hearing or watching.
Instead of keeping a news channel on all the time, you could:
Decide to skim the headlines from your favorite news aggregator first thing in the morning.
Decide to listen to or watch five to 10 minutes of headline coverage once or twice a day to feel informed.
Decide to focus on your own, one-and-only precious life instead of focusing on things you can’t control.
When you step back and try to see the forest instead of the individual trees, you give yourself permission to make your life the main attraction in your life.
That sounds funny, doesn’t it – making your life important in your life. I don’t mean it to be funny – I mean it as a wake-up call for you to take back your life by placing your attention and your time on your own life. Marinating in coverage of something that happened in another person’s life doesn't help the other person, it doesn’t add clarity to a murky situation, and it doesn’t do anything to make your life better. It stresses you out and keeps you from focusing on the people and events in your own life that truly matter to you.
This one shift in focus will not keep the bad things in the world from happening. You can’t stop them, anyway. This one shift – making your own life more important than anyone else’s – is a vital way to enhance your mental wellbeing. The world’s second-shortest podcast has some other tweaks you can make this week to help you feel better now. Here are three episodes, each less than 90 seconds long, and each with a tool you can use right now.
Want the brain science (and Stevie Nicks wisdom) behind how to move through a crisis? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Need help soothing yourself in a crisis? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Want a way to assess your relationships after the crisis has passed? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
For as long as America has been a nation, there has been political division – the country is designed that way. There have always been fringe elements willing to do whatever it takes to ensure their side wins. Twenty-one times, would-be assassins have targeted party leaders, and four times they’ve succeeded in killing a sitting President. What happened last Saturday isn’t new, and sadly it probably won’t be the last time someone targets a leader.
What you decide to do with your time will have a huge impact on your stress level and ability to cope, no matter what’s happening around you. I don’t want you to feel horrified, confused, uncertain, and helpless. I want you to succeed and thrive. Can you join me in dipping into news coverage, and then going on with your wonderful life?
Wags,
Sandy Weaver
The Voice of Wagaliciousness
PS...want more? Subscribe to the Mind, Body, Soul Sessions podcast, a weekly mental spa treatment for your total self! #podcast #success #leader #lawofattraction #personaldevelopment #mentalwellbeing
